Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize