I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
