She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
