Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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