he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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