I wanna passion pit in your ass
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
