You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
