i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
