so that wasnt chicken after all
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I got inside last night via doggy door
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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