If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
