I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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