If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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