There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
