Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
