i just google imaged poop.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
