You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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