My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize