I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
it's like iHOP with fire
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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