I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize