Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize