So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
jump out the window naked night went bad
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