Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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