I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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