im about as happy as oj after his trial
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
