maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize