windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
