I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
