My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize