Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
