I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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