i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
