It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
