You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
