Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
