how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize