Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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