he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
