apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
