I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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