Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize