i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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