maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
