the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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