i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
