I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
