Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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