I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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