Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
