You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
