I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
