Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
