I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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