Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
