is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
