She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
