I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
worst night to have a conscience
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize