Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
