JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize