he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
