I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
