Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
