Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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