I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
