wrigley field is MILF paradise
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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