I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize