We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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