your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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