It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
