doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize