oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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