If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
