apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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