drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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