Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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